


I hate you (Posie one-shot)

by jorjasfenty



Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst and Feels, F/F, Hizzie - Freeform, Posie AU, Posie Human AU, posie - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-12-28 08:44:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21133925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jorjasfenty/pseuds/jorjasfenty
Summary: How Josie Saltzman got her heart broken at age 20orthe complicated relationship of her and Penelope Park.





	I hate you (Posie one-shot)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! I posted this story a few minutes ago but remind me to never upload on my phone, because everything was a total mess.  
I hope you enjoy this and sorry for any spelling mistakes etc, English isn't my first language,

August 20th, 2023

Josie would have never expected to have her first heartbreak at the age of 20. She would have never expected to sit there, on the floor, sweatshirt drenched in tears. Red, puffy eyes staring into nothing. Cold tiles met with salty tears. And yet, there she was. Just being cheated on. At age 20.

•

August 3rd, 2023

„Josie and I had another fight, honestly I just want to punch something right now.“, Penelope complained to her best friend on the phone.

„It just feels like a never-ending spiral of fighting and forgiving. I really don’t know what to do.“

On the other end of the line, Hope sighed.

„I know, Peez. You love her, but I can’t stand seeing you like this. Maybe you two need some time?“

Penelope let herself fall onto her bed.

„There’s no way, I would never ask her for a break. Relationships don’t recover after a break. You, of all people, should know this.“

Hope laughed. „What happened to Lizzie and I was different. We only decided to take a break because neither of us had the courage to actually break up with the other.“

„And now you’re stuck being friends with benefits, so why would I want to settle on that?“

„God you’re unbelievable.“, the other brunette scoffed.

Penelope grinned to herself.

„How about I take you out tonight, Peez? Just you and me, too much beer and waaay too much tequila?“

Hope knew her best friend would never say no to such an offer. And of course, Penelope said yes. Eyes rolling when Hope told her to not be late, smiling when she thought about how furious Hope would be if she would. She decided to be on time, not taking too long to get ready, since it’s just her best friend and she wouldn’t mind her mediocre outfit.  
Heading to the door, her phone vibrated in her pocket. She knew it had to be her girlfriend, by the personalized tone the other girl choose for herself. She debated if she should read the text. She did.

Jojo <3: I’ll stop by tomorrow morning. I think we need to talk.

I think we need to talk. Penelope didn’t know why, but her stomach twisted. Those six words didn’t fit right with her, because there was a fifty per cent chance they would either be positive or negative. She already dreaded the next morning.  
Suddenly, her phone vibrated again, causing Penelope to snap out of her thoughts.

Ho <3: dumb fuck, you have 3 more minutes or I’ll beat ur ass.

Penelope grabbed her keys and hurried out of her apartment. The four blocks to the bar are a familiar route and when she arrives, she sees Hope sitting at the counter through the glass.

„Already got us some drinks?“

Hope spun around with a cheeky smile.

„Yes, but the next round’s on you.“

„I might have to think about, regarding you called me dumb fuck, even though I told you not to.“

Hope gave Penelope one of the beers sitting on the counter.

“Cheers, dumb fuck.”, she said, emphasizing the nickname she chose for Penelope.

•

It was past 2 a.m. The bar began to clear out. The two friends didn’t sit at the counter anymore, now seated at a quiet table in a corner of the bar.

“Noooo, I will get us the next round.”, Hope insisted, patting Penelope on the arm. The two women spent about 5 minutes arguing who is going to get the next round but finally leading to Penelope giving up. She watches Hope walking over to the bar. But her eyes settle on something else. Someone else.

She recognizes the blonde smiling at her, a girl that she usually only sees from afar. The girl and Penelope share multiple lectures, but the only interaction they shared was when Penelope asked her what the name of the teacher was at the start of the semester. Hope always got on her nerves about the fact that Penelope was horrible with names. But why bother? Most of the names Penelope learned were going to be non-essential anyways.

Realizing she had been staring way too long, she quickly fixated her gaze back to where Hope was standing before, only to realize the brunette has already made her way over to her best friend.

“Here you go.”, Hope said handing her the beer.

“You see that blonde over there, at the bar?”

Hope, following Penelope's gaze, frowns. “Mhm, she’s in our literature lectures. I think it’s Dana. Yeah, must be it.” Penelope looks the girl up and down. “Why tho? Don’t tell me..”

“She’s just been eyeing me, no need to lose your shit, Mikaelson.”

After two more rounds, the two women decided to call it a night. Penelope told Hope about Josie's text, but Hope told her not to worry about it since there’s “no fucking way Josie Saltzman would ever break up with you, dumb fuck.”

Waking up, the unsettling feeling in Penelope's stomach returned. She didn’t know if it was the amount of alcohol she consumed with Hope or the fact, that Josie could indeed break up with her. After a quick shower and a coffee, she sat down on the sofa, scrolling through her Instagram feed.

‘The only bitch I ever respected.’, is the caption under a picture of her and her best friend, which Hope just posted.

‘Love u Ho’, she decided to comment, knowing the nickname would make Hope laugh.

It was another 30 minutes until her door rang.

Why does she have to look that good, Penelope thought. She was thinking about ripping Josie's clothes off right there, but she knew they needed to have a serious talk because their usual habit of fighting and making up has been going on way too long. So she told her to come in, asked if she wanted something to drink and after the girls declining, finally sat down with her.

An uncomfortable silence hung in the air

“So..I guess I’ll start.”, Josie finally said. Penelope just nodded.

“I don’t think we can go on like this anymore, this isn’t good.”

“I always feel like we take one step forward but the next day we take two steps back. I really care about you, Pen. But you’re the one who told me to be selfish, yet you’re my only reason to be selfless right now. It scares me how much I would do for you..”

“At the moment, this just feels like an obligation we both agreed to and can’t get out of.”

Penelopes stomach flipped. She noticed how Josie's eyes never met hers. This was real. This wasn’t just another fight. Another breakup that leads to making out again after staring at each other too long. This might be the end and Penelope should have seen it coming. But why would she see it coming, when she would never want it to end?  
As silence hung in the air, she made the fatal decision. Hopes words rang in her head, but she didn’t care. This couldn’t be over.

“Maybe we just need a break.”, she blurted out, meeting Josie's eyes for the first time that night. She knew Josie could never say no to the green eyes. Frowning brown eyes turned into understanding ones.

“Okay.”, Josie said.

“Okay.”

And maybe, going on a break was the only thing Penelope saw as a solution right now. Maybe it wasn’t that bad after all.

•

August 10th, 2023

It has been a week since Penelope and Josie have decided to take a break. And honestly, it wasn’t too bad after all. They did text a few times and Penelope missed the girl like crazy, but she felt her attitude change. Maybe this break would help them and their relationship.

But at the same time, she felt incredibly guilty. Guilty because she noticed the way Dana looked at her during lectures, quiet enjoying the attention she was getting. But after you dated someone for almost 2 years, all your attention gravitating towards them, maybe being looked at wasn’t a bad feeling after all. She only needed to convince her mind that it was alright.

It has been all good, until the day Penelope stepped with Hope into her favourite bar. Two friends going from bar to bar, only staying as long as they liked to. Penelope loved how they’d were greeted by new friendly faces every time they decided to get to their feet and look for the next place to go to. Hope just really enjoyed the different music genres in each bar.

She immediately recognized the way the girl threw her head back as she laughed. She recognized the sound of laughter ringing in her ear. What she didn’t recognize, was the curly-haired boy sitting next to her. The way his hands seemed too close to hers. And the way she looked at him.

“Hey, calm down, Peez.”, Hope said and held her back. She was met with furious eyes, a look that could kill.

“Can you believe it?”, Penelope said, voice full of anger and maybe a little too loud because the girl sitting at the bar instantly shifted her gaze and directly looked at her. Maybe it was the alcohol in her blood, or the damn way she just looked at him, that made Penelope decided to storm towards the pair at the bar.

“Oh so that’s what taking a break looks like to you?” Hope ran up to her, holding her back as she was about to push the boy off his chair.

“Is this all a joke to you, Josie? I can’t believe it, I-“, Penelope said, cutting herself off. Josie was sure she has never seen the woman in front of her this angry ever before.

“Penelope can you please not make a scene? You’re drunk.”, she said, trying to sound as calm as possible.

“A scene?! You’re making a damn scene if you wanted to run and hide with this damn motherfucker you could have just been honest with me!”

Damn the way she looked at him.

“Penelope what are you talking about?!”, Josie said, not even trying to be quiet anymore.  
“You, of all people should know, that I would never do something like that. You know this.”

Penelopes eyes began to swell up. She could not let herself break down in front of Josie.

The alcohol in her blood played mind games with her and she couldn’t help but go along with them. That’s the dangerous part of alcohol. People always talk about knowing what they’re doing when they’re drunk, but Penelope wasn’t one of them. She has always been a reckless drinker, never remembering a wild night out, everything seems to go by in a blur. So when she said the next words, she didn’t really think about it, even though every sense of her body told her not.

“Do I though? I feel like I haven’t known you for a long time. How could I trust someone, that I don’t know?”

She instantly saw the hurt in Josie's eyes. Josie Saltzman, the person that never lied to her in a serious matter. The only times Josie lied was when she either wanted to surprise Penelope or told her she didn’t eat her favourite ice cream again.  
Trust has always been the fundamental element of their relationship. Penelope knew she could trust Josie with her life and they both always made sure the other knew that. Earning Penelope's trust was something Josie did so easily but keeping it? It was hard because Penelope had always been drawn to distrusting people, pushing them away when it became too real for her. But Josie did everything to keep that trust and she succeeded. And Penelope knew she was lying because Josie never broke her trust. But damn, that look she gave him. God forbid her giving him that look.

Josie got up, standing directly in front of Penelope. She was crying and the sight of it made Penelope's heart crack open, every tear she’s leading to more and more cracks. And when Josie's eyes reflect her distrust and hurt, when she said “I hate you.”, her heart broke into a million pieces. And the way Josie repeated those words, it didn’t even hurt, because her heart has already been broken and maybe, just maybe, the taste of liquor on her breath made it all bearable. I hate you. I know, Penelope thought. I know and I hate myself too.

•

The morning after Josie stormed out of the bar was one of the worst ones Penelope had in her entire life. She had a giant headache. And the worst part? She hadn’t even been drunk enough to forget everything that happened. She knew exactly what happened.

At that moment, Penelope wanted to punch herself. She wanted to beat herself up. As Lizzie would when she found out how she talked to her twin sister.  
Josie's words echoed in her head. I hate you.  
And maybe, that wasn’t too bad. Because Penelope noticed the way Josie changed. She noticed how she went from being selfless for Lizzie to be selfless for her. And the only thing Penelope wanted is for her to be selfless for herself, yet she was the reason she wasn’t.  
She hated herself for it.

As she went to her first lecture, she noticed Dana smiling at her. And she smiled back.  
She hated herself for it.

When she grabbed lunch with Hope, she didn’t think about Josie once.  
And she hated herself for it.

Friday evenings would usually be spent watching TV together, all cuddled up. They both hated going out on Fridays because everything was horribly crowded that day. Penelope always loved the way Josie fiddled with her hair as they lay down together. But today, she sat alone and she hated herself for it.

Hope tried to convince Penelope to leave her house for the past days and on Saturday, 19th of August she finally succeeded.

They were at their usual bar, two beers and tequilas standing in front of them. “Cheers.”, they both said, the strong liquor pouring into their mouths right after. Penelope didn’t even know why they always settled on tequila, it tasted horrible.

And when she decided to pull out her phone, she hated herself for it.

When she saw the love of her life smiling next to a curly-haired bastard in Lizzie’s Instagram story. She hated herself for it because she knew, if she had been enough for the brunette, it would be her smiling in that video.  
But she didn’t say anything when Hope came back from the bathroom. The only thing she did was order two more tequilas.  
And she noticed a slight tap on her shoulder.

She hated herself for smiling at the blonde next to her. She hated herself for talking to her and she hated herself for enjoying it so much.

This innocent interaction made her feel guilty, she knew she shouldn’t but she did.

And as Dana began shifting closer every chance she got, Penelope couldn’t help but notice and shift closer too. Because why shouldn’t she?  
And with each drink and each shot, the guilt faded and she got back to her reckless, drunk self.  
Hope noticed what was happening. Oh Peez, she thought. What are you doing?  
But she didn’t do anything to stop her best friend. Because this, right here, was the happiest she’s seen her best friend in a long time.

So when Dana used her hand to tuck away a lost hair in Penelope's face and asked “Do you want to go somewhere else?”, Hope just continued her chat with the bartender, because she knew, her best friend was old enough to decide if that was the right thing.  
And as Penelope stood up, shot her a questioning look, Hope just shrugged her shoulders and that was enough for Penelope to let herself get dragged out of the bar.

And she hated herself for it. She hated herself for giggling at all the things Dana said, for looking at her with bedroom eyes as she leaned at her door frame and she hated herself for being pushed on a practical strangers bed. As her enchantress began to take off her clothes, kissing her in all the right places, there was something she noticed for the first time that night. Maybe she didn’t notice it before because of the poor air at the bar, but as it hit her nose she instantly felt sick to her stomach.

The scent of vanilla and tangerine. So sweet.  
That damn perfume.

“I can’t do this.”, Penelope said. Almost naked, on a strangers bed. And she didn’t even listen to the blonde when she got dressed again, she couldn’t even look the other woman in the eyes as she said “I am so sorry, I have to go.” and stumbled out of the apartment.

When the cold night air sent shivers down her spine, she realized what she just did.  
She just made the biggest mistake of her life. Her and Josie never really broke things off, even though it felt like it. So in a certain way, Penelope just cheated.  
And she never hated herself more this night as in this exact moment.

She knew that she shouldn’t, but she needed to. She needed to bawl her eyes out in an empty metro and she needed to run two blocks to Josies apartment.

“What are you doing here? It’s 2 a.m.”, Josie said confused. As she rubbed her eyes, finally exposing the entire scenery in front of her, it was not only the cold night air which gave her goosebumps. The sight of Penelope Park, crying at 2 a.m. at her doorstep was something she would en ever expect.

“I am so so sorry, Jojo.”, was the only thing the woman across from her could manage to say and the familiar scent of liquor hung in the air. “I love you so much Jojo, believe me.”

And the image of the love of her life made her heart began to crack.

“You’re drunk Penelope, go home.”

“Jojo..you were always honest to me.”, Penelope said, trying to hold back every sob she let out. “So now I need to be honest to you too.”

Josie felt her throat swell up.

“I hate myself so much, Jojo. I hate that I enjoy her looking at me, I hate that I enjoy talking to her.”

Josie felt her eyes begin to swell up.

“And you know what’s the worst? I hate how I hadn’t thought once about you until I smelled her perfume. I am so so sorry, Jojo. I didn’t sleep with her, but every part of my body tells me what I did was so much worse than cheating.”

Josie's heart broke right there. Her first heartbreak, at age 20. Would you ever expect your heart broken? No. Would she do it all again? Yes. Because the last 2 years of her life were the most selfless she had. It didn’t end in a fairytale. But it was one, as long as it lasted.

Penelope and Josie had known it was over for a long time. They both knew if they had just been honest to each other it would have ended differently.

But they hadn’t been honest. And they hated themselves for it.

So much.

The end.


End file.
